Feeling nervous about sex with a new partner is perfectly normal. Regardless of whether you’re worried about potential awkward moments or have recently come out of a long term relationship. There’s no need to stress though. The Mix have put together a guide to put your mind at ease.
So, you’ve been out on a few dates, you’ve really clicked – maybe you feel like you’re even starting to fall in love. And tonight’s probably the night you have sex with them since they’re planning on staying over. You want everything to be perfect so that you can make the right impression. NBD, right?
Take a deep breath . Performance anxiety is extremely real , and it takes all the fun out of your sex life. In fact, if you’re too nervous about sleeping with a new partner it might end up meaning that there’s no performance at all, if you catch our drift. And that applies to EVERYONE.
Instead, try easing your way into it, and lower your expectations. First-time sex with a new partner is more about exploring each other’s bodies and figuring out what works for you. Not jus t putting on a show and trying too hard to impress.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself
What worked brilliantly with a previous long term sexual partner may not work now. And that has nothing to do with you. Different people simply like different things. Plus, finding out what the person in bed with you is into can be half of the fun. We’re not gonna lie , nerves can definitely get in the way the first time round.
Sometimes it might take a while before someone can get naked and relax. So if either of you are feeling anxious or too stressed, just take the pressure off; remember, you don’t need to have sex there and then. Wait until you’re both sure that you’re ready. That way it’ll be something that both of you enjoy.
Make sure you both consent
Not matter what type of sexual encounter you’re in, an understanding of consent is essential before doing anything. Especially if it’s with someone new . No-one should ever be pressured into doing something they’re not comfortable with. To avoid any miscommunication, make sure to read the signs that each other is giving off.
If they’re being pushy and you’re not sure there’s no harm in waiting. Just sit them down and explain it to them calmly and politely. Besides, their reaction to that news might tell you everything you need to know about them. You can learn more about consent here and this article about enthusiastic consent may also be useful.
Preparing for sex with a new partner
If you’ve decided to go back to yours, and sex is on the cards, then a little preparation goes a long way. Try to make them feel special and comfortable. Tidy up a bit, have something good in the fridge for breakfast, and stock up on their favourite drink. Oh, and double check that you’ve got enough condoms. Running down to the corner shop with a hard-on or a hitched-up skirt is not a good look. Not to mention tapaaminen sinkku pullea naiset, it kind of breaks up the mood.
If you’re going back to theirs, be a good guest. Don’t make an automatic assumption that they want to have sex with you. But you should probably take your own condoms, just in case. You’ll get extra points for turning up on time, and looking and smelling good. And let them know you’re having a good time, no matter what you’re doing. You’re just there cause you like their company. Anything else is an added bonus.
Sex with a new person is never perfect
We’re gonna say something mind-blowing – first-time sex is only really perfect in the movies. IRL, nobody’s psychic. This means that you have to tell one another what you like and want. So if you’re not enjoying something then don’t be scared to ask for something different instead. And it’s important to remember that it should be pleasurable, good sex for both of you – especially when it comes to oral sex.
You should also try to keep a sense of humour at all times. If you have any awkward moments , like falling out of bed or getting cramp in your toes just laugh it off. Even if you cringe at the time, it could be something you both look back on later with a warm fuzzy glow.
You can read more articles on a range of relationship topics on The Mix’s Relationship Support Page in partnership with Click.
